Okay, I made up a new word. Dadship: that awesome responsibility that leads to joy, hurt, fear, hope and amazement. I am unashamedly a dad. I have been for just shy of 30 years. It has been amazing and worrisome and joyous and terrifying. My daughter is a brown eyed beauty who stole my heart the day she was born. They gave me to her, wrapped up and I held her and she looked up into my eyes…….and, well that was it. And to this day, she knows that all she has to do now is look at me with those eyes and I will melt.
And I am twice lucky, because I have another daughter, one that I came to late in my life. She asked me if I would be the dad she never had and even asked my first daughter if it was okay to share me. Now, that is almost as amazing as the birth of my first. I mean, I truly am nobody special. At least I didn’t think so until I was chosen to be a dad. Both daughters are highly educated professionals in their fields. Both have so much to give to the world. And I get to be a part of that, not by demand but because they both include me.
I wonder if the Eternal looks at each of us just like that? When we look into that Sacred Face of love, does the Eternal do like I am doing now and get teary eyed and exude overwhelming love and joy at my very existence? I believe that is exactly what happens. The Eternal creator of all looks into my heart and sees so much that I have to give, so many times I have missed the boat, so many times that I got it right, and so many times that I just couldn’t go on alone. And every moment, the Eternal does not leave me, doesn’t forget me, and is always faithful in that love.
Dadship is a powerful responsibility and utter joy. The Dad to us all sees us with eyes of utter joy. And, you know what, this Dad is totally blind. Totally blind to all of our short-comings. Totally blind to our errors. I see my daughters as total joy and the hope for this world. I too am blind to their short-comings and errors. Do I think they are perfect? Uh, no! I love them both, but perfect they are not and I DON’T CARE! One won my heart at birth, one by asking me to be her dad, so I don’t care what they are not on any given day.
The Eternal is a far better parent than I will ever be. So maybe I need to remember that I won the heart of the Eternal the moment I was born. Maybe it would be okay if I saw me, through Eternal eyes. Is it okay if I rejoice in me? It does say to love our neighbor like we love ourselves. I need to love myself more, the way the Eternal does…… or I have nothing to give my neighbor.
TMM