So, even after all of these years, it is still hard to explain to others what a Christian Mystic really is. I have actually been asked if that is like being a magician or a sorcerer. Hmmm, tempting titles but no, that isn’t it at all. Evelyn Underhill, a British mystic in the early to middle part of the 20th century said it this way: Mysticism is the art of union with Reality. The mystic is a person who has attained that union in greater or less degree; or who aims at and believes in such attainment.
And then it dawned on me, I have been a mystic all of my spiritual life. In May 1971, my life changed forever when I found out that the Sacred knew me, loved me, wanted to spend time with me and was already within me. I remember, from that very first night, feeling in my soul, that there was something very deep there. Across the years, that deep seeking and longing got covered up and encrusted by dogma, religion and lack of understanding. But always, inside, I just knew that there was more, that I was more, that the Eternal was so much more that all of the rules and have too s and should nots.
Then, today, it dawned on me while reading Underhill that I have always longed for that union. Always thought that it was the key, not following rules or reading correctly. I know now that the reason I did not end up as a minister is that the denomination I was in held no answers for my soul. I am not regretful, just pointing out the experience. Social work did provide that depth, that seeking of the deeper and more important things not provided by a Baptist upbringing that rarely acknowledges mysticism or contemplation. I wonder, what if I had been Catholic, a group who gave rise to Christian contemplation, would I have been a monk? I think it is possible.
Do I regret my life? Most certainly not, but I wonder where I would be had I had the least little inkling of the mystical in my very soul. I have always written, always tried for words to explain and express my heart. It is why I was a good therapist and am a pretty decent professor.
I write this blog because I have to, it pours out of me, needs to escape. I have always been this messy mystic, with the gift of insight and discernment. A longing for that union with Reality. It is safe to say I have not arrived, but I believe each day that I try, I am one step closer to that Living Reality. It is my hope that you will not wait as long as I did, but will look inside now. Seek to discover your heart’s desire. Mine has always been to find that Eternal love that was awakened in 1971. I’m on the path now, it is glorious. Go ahead, give it a try, it is the second part of the spiritual life. Live beyond the rules, the dogma and let Love conquer all. Perfect Love casts out all fear.
TMM