When I was a boy, heck even as an adult, I knew what my mother’s will was for me. She wanted me to be a gentleman, get an education, and behave. Now the behave part was more complex than the first two, it meant don’t steal, don’t lie (she especially hated lies), don’t cheat, etc. The list was not long but it was clear. I have known my mother’s will since I could understand what she wanted for me. I also knew that she loved me, even when she was displeased or mad or sad over what I might have done. She has been gone 14 years and still I can hear her voice and know her will for me.
When I came to Christian life, I was in rather conservative churches who told me, especially as a teenager, that I must seek the will of God for my life and that there was one path for me and that I needed to find it. I was also taught that I must ask God’s will in all that I do. And, if I was outside of God’s will for my life I was basically living in sin and needed to get back into God’s will. It was taught to me as God’s Plan for my life. I bought into this for years, tried to live it out for years…..then have worked even harder to stop trying.
I was miserable in so many ways, trying to get it right and to be good enough to see that one path. It is not that way and if you are trying to live like that, stop. Think about what I said about my mother, I always knew her will. And, I have always known God’s will for my life. Christ said I am come that you may have life and that life in abundance. That is God’s will, that I live. Live joyously, unafraid, doing what I know is the right thing. It is even easier to know…love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. This is the will of God.
Whatever path you are on right now, God is there and you know what is expected, to love. That is Christian mysticism, that the creator of all is at work inside of me and you every moment. The contemplative writer, James Finley talks about God creating us every day and that we are foolish if we think we can ever be separate from God. That is the mystery, that “nothing can separate us from the love of God”. So stop beating yourself up for not knowing God’s will for your life, you already know. Quit searching and live the life you are living right now. Know this though, you are not and never will live that life alone. Always God is there, at work. Christ in you, the hope of glory. So, as the Buddha said, “whatever path you are on, light your candle and follow it.”
TMM