Humbled

I have a little girl. Well, okay, she is no longer little, she is 30 years old for goodness sake. That girl has made me humble so many times in my life, I have lost count. A letter to her dad when she was 13 or so and I was losing my first teaching job because of the ego of a program director. A tearful request that she be allowed to come home from college and start at the local university, to major in Social Work, just like dad. To serving me communion at her own ordination service. The most humbling from her is one she will never remember. The moments after she was born, when they handed me that beautiful baby girl and she looked directly into my eyes with those brand new eyes! I was the most insignificant person on the planet in that moment. My life quit being all that important and all that mattered was that awesome responsibility for that life.

She’s all grown up now, lives kinda far away and gets married in three weeks. Dad is going to get another dose of humility and yes, it will be tearful at best. Blubbering may even enter into the process. I have looked forward to and dreaded this day for 30 years. Her future husband is a good man who loves my baby girl. That is more than I could ever ask, I hope he knows the Sacred trust I am giving him.

But, my girl is not the only humbling thing I have going on. My wife does it to me often by expressing love daily for me and for doing a great job with that grandson. And, when I get hugs from college students who tell me I have changed their lives or that I am their favorite. Or when I get evaluations from my online university classes that are incredibly high. It brings me to a place of deep humility.

And the humility grows when friends thank me for being there, for listening, for caring. I am not that smart or wise or, on any given day, that nice. What I try to do is love. I try not to put limits on it, often trusting and believing in people far beyond what they deserve. I can’t help it, it is how I am wired. It makes me a good social worker and therapist and contemplative. It also gets my feelings hurt sometimes.

Humility is a choice though. A learned behavior. I have had to develop it from a poor self image, so that it is no longer self-effacing or trite or insincere. I have learned to give the honor to the One who gives me all the good gifts I possess. I cannot help anyone, love anyone, or even care for anyone without first having the love of the One. When my wife tells me how much I matter, I am surprised with joy. When my grown daughter looks at old dad and says, thanks and I love you, joy. When I sit with the Eternal in daily prayer and hear,” You are my Beloved in who I am well pleased “, I am awed and humbled all in one moment.

Did you know that you are Beloved of the creator of the Universe? That truth creates deep humility. Live in the Love.

TMM

 

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