“I did it” can go either way. It can be an acknowledgment of success or accomplishment or it can be a confession and an acceptance of responsibility. I have done both, as I am sure you have. I really enjoy the first one, it feels great to say “I did it.” I have run 9 marathons in my life and got to say “I did it”. It felt great to do that, to get my college degrees, to earn martial arts rank, and so many more things in my blessed life.
On the other hand, the confession version is a lot less fun. Let’s face it, we all hate to be wrong, we all hate to own up to our mistakes, and we all struggle when it comes to taking responsibility for what has happened. I spent time as a CEO and I took responsibility for myself and for others. I was responsible so I was the one to say, I did it or “I let that happen”. It is humbling to be responsible for everything at an agency. And, taking responsibility for things you didn’t actually do is even more so.
Why did I do that? Well, there are surely days I wonder that because it eventually got me fired. I did that, took responsibility for the errors of others, because I was protecting them and trying to get them to see their actions were problematic, but not terminal. It usually became a moment of Grace for them, when we discussed the issues afterward. There were some who did not appreciate grace and continued in the behavior. Others changed and were glad. Others perceived it as a sign of weakness and used it to further their own agenda.
My good brother and I have both been CEOs and lived through this sort of thing. We were chatting the other day and he said something he had read and it was profound – Jesus did not go to the Cross to convince God to forget our sins. Many verses confirm that God did not and does not want a blood sacrifice, a death to make things “right”. That is not a loving God. No, Jesus went to the Cross because we needed it. We cannot believe that God loves us, just as we are, without payment. We cannot wrap our minds around that. We live in a world where we have to earn everything, pay for everything, with no free rides.
The Cross and all that led up to it were because we need to see someone pay! How often do we hear or even say that, “somebody is gonna pay”? Read the title of this note, “I did it”. Now, let’s take responsibility for sending Christ to the Cross. Hold on, this is not a condemnation but a pass to freedom. You see dear ones, there is no price to pay for who we are. There is nothing to be paid for grace, that is not possible. Scripture and life teach us that we cannot earn acceptance from God or even from others.
Every time we demand a price be paid for our sins, our errors, we send Christ to the Cross again. How often does he have to go up there before we figure out WE ARE FORGIVEN? Why can’t we accept grace and just be the beloved children God sees us as? Every time we are harsh to ourselves, feel bad or ashamed of ourselves, Christ has to get back on the Cross, to convince us yet again, we are beloved, we are forgiven. I need to remember that, every day. I need to remember that just as I took the heat for my staff, Christ took it for us all. Not because God needed that to love us, but because we needed it believe that God could love us.
TMM