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What is home? There are lots of sayings, like “home is where the heart is” or “home is where they have to take you in”. There are others but each of us define home in our own way. I have to admit, for me, home has a rather different meaning and feel, at least from my childhood. There were lots of issues in my childhood home life. Fighting parents, a brother 8 years older and no extended family around. So in my childhood, home was not a place of comfort.

Please don’t t feel sorry for me, that is not my reason for telling you about it. The reason to share this is to simply say, we all have our own picture of home. Sometimes it is real, sometimes it is longed for but either way it is a place in our own heart. At my college, there are two young men who lived on the streets of Dallas for several years. Today, they are kind, intelligent and decent young men who are doing well in school. I can only imagine what “home” means to them but I know our college is home now.

Home should be that place of comfort, support and where you can take off all of the masks you wear each day. I have a home now. It is joyous in its simplicity and comfort. It is and provides a state of mind for me. Is it perfect? Uh……no. It is home. It is safe haven, where I can hide from the world a bit, contemplate a bit, and work in my yard as worship.

In the African American church, they don’t have a funeral, they have a “home goin”. I love that, going home. Doesn’t that sound peaceful? And it is the place where the Eternal will take you in, always, every child of the Eternal on this earth, will one day get home. In that home we can take off who we think we are, who we think we must be and let the Eternal wrap us in love. And isn’t that really what being at home is about? That place where we can be who we are, unashamedly and honestly.

Here is the joy of it all, we don’t have to wait, we can be “home with the Eternal” right now. We can live in the kingdom, in the Eternal’s loving household right now. The prodigal son wanted just to be a servant at his father’s home, but instead was an honored guest. Do you know that you are the honored guest at the Eternal’s home? All that holds you back is, well, you. So today, open the door and walk into the Eternal home. Be the honored guest, the Beloved of God.

TMM

 

Have you ever tried to follow a map and come to a place where you have a choice as  to the route? Have you ever tried to put something together (for me any children’s toy) and had a part that just didn’t seem to be in the assembly instructions? Or, one of my favorites, following a recipe and you have to discern how to increase or  decrease the recipe and there is no guide for it? In each of these moments, discernment was the process of choosing what to do, making a decision.

I am a college professor and have a grant that focuses on vocational discernment for my students. This is the role of an advisor, to help the student decide which direction to take. Any path for the student is okay, but the student should choose a direction  that makes them happy, fulfills them, and that they can spend a lifetime doing. Vocational discernment was originally the process to follow if a person was choosing religious life. When the Protestant reformation came around, the thought was that every person is called to something, hence discernment is for everyone.

Now, I want to be clear that I have already written about the will of God. Discernment is different, it is about choosing a path that fits you. Frost wrote, “The Road Not Taken”, and that is what discernment is, seeing two roads that diverged into the woods and choosing which to follow. Frost, in the poem, took the “road less traveled by” and it made “all the difference.” I  never realized the poem was about discernment.

So, how does this touch me? Every day, we have choices to make. Either choice is okay with God, it is up to us to choose. We have to know that whatever the choice, the Creator is going on the trip with us. Discernment is a daily process that all of us engage in and from which we discover our directions in life. I have experienced discernment many times in my life, from ministry to social work, from social work took CEO, from CEO back to professor. I would love to tell you I always to the “road less traveled by” but that is not true. What I have tried to do is to make decisions that gave me the opportunity for the best life possible. So, dear friends, what ever choice you make is the right one, because you made it. You won’t ever be alone on the trip.

 

TMM

When I was a boy, heck even as an adult, I knew what my mother’s will was for me. She wanted me to be a gentleman, get an education, and behave. Now the behave part was more complex than the first two, it meant don’t steal, don’t lie (she especially hated lies), don’t cheat, etc. The list was not long but it was clear. I have known my mother’s will since I could understand what she wanted for me. I also knew that she loved me, even when she was displeased or mad or sad over what I might have done. She has been gone 14 years and still I can hear her voice and know her will for me.

When I came to Christian life, I was in rather conservative churches who told me, especially as a teenager, that I must seek the will of God for my life and that there was one path for me and that I needed to find it. I was also taught that I must ask God’s will in all that I do. And, if I was outside of God’s will for my life I was basically living in sin and needed to get back into God’s will. It was taught to me as God’s Plan for my life. I bought into this for years, tried to live it out for years…..then have worked even harder to stop trying.

I was miserable in so many ways, trying to get it right and to be good enough to see that one path. It is not that way and if you are trying to live like that, stop. Think about what I said about my mother, I always knew her will. And, I have always known God’s will for my life. Christ said I am come that you may have life and that life in abundance. That is God’s will, that I live. Live joyously, unafraid, doing what I know is the right thing. It is even easier to know…love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. This is the will of God.

Whatever path you are on right now, God is there and you know what is expected, to love. That is Christian mysticism, that the creator of all is at work inside of me and you every moment. The contemplative writer, James Finley talks about God creating us every day and that we are foolish if we think we can ever be separate from God. That is the mystery, that “nothing can separate us from the love of God”. So stop beating yourself up for not knowing God’s will for your life, you already know. Quit searching and live the life you are living right now. Know this though, you are not and never will live that life alone. Always God is there, at work. Christ in you, the hope of glory. So, as the Buddha said, “whatever path you are on, light your candle and follow it.”

TMM

When I was a teenager, back in the day as my students like to say, a popular though strange Beatles song was “come together”. It had some mystical verses (read here that they were likely drug induced) but mostly it just had an interesting and rebellious nature to it. Well, it was the sixties and seventies after all.

Today, in my  reading and study I was impressed by a different “come together”, one that is continuously being brought to my awareness by the One that inspires me. Richard Rohr, the Franciscan has recently been writing about these ideas. But, this dealing within me has predated those writings by a year or two.

It seems that the word “all” has jumped out of sacred writings I have been reading over and over again. I cannot explain it except to say that it is a mystery. It is the Grace of God and the far flung love of God for all. I think that is why Jesus said it was a difficult road, one that many just cannot travel. Those of us who do travel that road, struggle with the idea that we must love all, especially our enemies.

We are called to love. My Cistercian abbey is called a school of love. It is the greatest mystery of all, that unlike every other major religion, we are called not to rules, not to laws, not to obedience but to Love. Love self, others and God, because the Eternal first loved us. That is the mystery, how to love those who hate or despise us. How to love those parts of ourselves that are unlovable. I do not  have it figured out, but I keep trying.

And with all this love, we come together in the Eternal. If we mean what we say we believe then All come together.  All means Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Jew,  Muslim, Taoist, and pagan. We are all in this together, always have been, but Christians are called to come together with all for the sake of all. See, it is a narrow path. Light your candle and get moving, we have a “whole lotta love” to give out.

TMM

I can remember few things about my early childhood but I remember holding my mother’s hand at the store and, as I got older, holding her finger, so only we would know. Then I remember holding my own daughter’s hand and how special that was and how sad dad was when she got too old for that. Our final hand holding was done just a few weeks ago, when I walked hand in hand with her down the aisle at her wedding.

I have held hands in prayer with men and women for 45 years. I have held hands with men in India, where that is a common custom. The fact that they would do that with me was a great honor, one that I am forever grateful for and cherish. If they were that comfortable with me, that is indeed an honor. I see hand holding in the huddle in football and in other team sports.

Now, the best hand holding is with someone you love and care about. My mom, my daughter, my wife are all the ones I have and do hold hands with and it matters. I will confess to holding hands in my sleep with my “girlfriend”, my wife. It just feels right and brings me great comfort.

Now why am I waxing nostalgic about hand holding? It is because in the Psalms, the writer says God wants to hold our hand. Now, this is why that thought matters. In those days, as well as these days, few people understood that God wanted a personal relationship with every person. All other living things, all of creation, was already holding hands with God. This idea, holding hands with God, was foreign to them and I suspect it is foreign to most people today.

Jesus came to show us what holding hands with God looks like in life. That is the great Mystery, we can hold hands with the Creator of the Universe. Jews and Gentiles alike never understood that and I am saddened by seeing that no one today seems to believe it either. So, today, if you will simply open your hand, what you will discover is that the Eternal already had hold of it, from the moment you were born. Give it  squeeze, you will enjoy the squeeze back.

TMM

 

I once ran a rather large health care agency. One of the specialized staff was hired at a premium salary, reflecting that there are some jobs that require special skills and knowledge. One year later, that same person was demanding a raise, though they had done nothing particularly noteworthy during the previous year. This person was already rather wealthy and did not even need their salary to take care of their family. My question was, “how much is enough”?

We live in a society where how much you have directly tells you your self-worth. Not just your net worth, your self worth. How did we get to this? Well, advertising pushes it on us,  to pursue more, get something new every time. There is another factor, however and that has to do with my Baby boomer generation. My parents, from the depression years, wanted to give me and my brother what they never had, as did that entire WWII generation of parents. They did it, they gave it all to us. We baby boomers took that to heart and said we must do the same for our children. And that is the problem, because we already had more than enough, all our parents never had, and yet we wanted more for our kids.

Now our kids, gen x and millennials, feel entitled to more, to everything. And there you have it, we are responsible for the ongoing problem of greed and entitlement. We never taught the idea that we should be thankful for having enough and that more is not better. So what do we do now? First, we return ourselves to our calling as Christians and as humans, to love and to be our brother’s (and sister’s) keeper.

Currently, our country is based on greed. “I got mine, you can go get yours”. Except that doesn’t work for those who are oppressed. We need  to remember our calling in God, to love those who are poor, oppressed, and in need. We need to remember that if anyone is in need, we are all responsible. Jesus and the Buddha spent their time with those sorts of people. Those in need were extremely thankful for any attention and any help.

And, we who are often in spiritual need, have no problem asking the Eternal for help, which is as it should be. Yet, we forget that we get to ask for help and condemn those in need. When will we reflect the Eternal in ourselves and hear the cries of the oppressed, of the poor, of the elderly? If not now when? If not you or I, then who?

 

TMM

I love gadgets, technology stuff. But, it doesn’t have to be really complex. Take a watch for example, the spring, hands, winder. Oh, yeah I am talking about the old type watches. I am fascinated by how it was even thought of and how all of that works. I am also fascinated by the tuning forks, the atomic clock signaled ones and the perpetual motion watches. I am a humble social worker and mystic, I just cannot fathom what it took to figure these things out.

Here is what I do understand, every single one of those things I noted above are slowly but surely running down. A fancy name for this is entropy. Things just become less energetic and organized. It might take awhile but they will run down. Here is the connection, we were given this view of the universe and history and the creation we live in. Church has taught that history is winding down to a powerful ending. Our very philosophy, since Descarte, has taught us that the world and history is running down.

In reading Richard Rohr, I had an epiphany. And yes, that was just yesterday. Here it is, we don’t have to accept that definition of our world. God is not a celestial clockmaker. He did not set the world into motion and then back off. That is not what a loving God does. History is moving toward more love, it is a positive and wonderful creation. God is bringing all things together in love and we must stop being negative and depressed in our view of our world and our God.

Our universe, our personal universe is expanding and growing. It is gaining momentum toward love and it is continuously growing toward redemption. We are taught in  church that God is vindictive, demands retribution and was angry with us until Jesus died. Really? Why would we believe that about a loving God? God has loved us from the first moment of creation. He has been there with us all along. How many times did he, in the creation story, say this is good? It is still good and he still loves his creation. He still loves us. We are redeemed when we realize that.

TMM

Babies are a wonder. With a year old grandson running around the house I get to see that every day. The hope for all there is to come is there, in their innocence and in their eyes. I remember another baby, thirty years ago, that only had to look at me once on the day she was born and won my heart.

On the last day of the year, a week ago, I gave that girl away to a young man, in marriage. Yep, those same eyes melted dad’s heart again. She was beautiful and I was a mess (see, now you know why this blog is called the messy mystic), but as she said, the best kind of mess and I was that way unashamedly. I have finally learned that I am free to be me. I cried my way through the bride’s dance as well.

That girl is still my baby, always will be, with due apologies to my new son-in-law. Why did I go to this place? Christ said we must come to him like a child, with innocence in our hearts and in our eyes. Do you realize that the Eternal wants you to look into the Eyes of Eternity, as my little girl did into mine? Do you also realize that you can melt the Eternal Heart, just like my little girl did to me? God is love and nothing else. He loves each of us eternally and unreservedly.

Dear ones, when we gaze into the eyes of the Eternal, we are free. Free from fear, from shame and guilt, free to be who we were meant to be, unashamedly. It is in that realization that we can love each other and especially those we dislike or who dislike us. Why do you think there are so many references to the innocence of children and to weddings? We are beloved, we are deeply loved, we just need to melt God’s heart by looking lovingly and innocently into those Eternal Eyes.

TMM

The most recent election has caused joy, panic, elation, fear and much more. I never want to let my blog be a platform for political commentary or rhetoric and having said that, I started this as I did to go a different direction with my thoughts. I am, however, an ethicist by training and experience so there are times when the overall situation demands some thought.

In the beginning of a new year, we face what is coming with the feelings noted above and so much more going on inside ourselves. Will I still have a job? Is this the year I can retire? What does this new year hold for me? Today is Epiphany in the Christian calendar. Also called Three Kings Day, this day moves us in the Christian faith from Advent and the twelve days of Christmas (yes, that is what the song is about) toward the coming of Lent and then Easter. It represents Christ and his message being given to the Gentiles through then  presence of the three Magi.  The word also means an experience of sudden or striking awareness or realization. Much like the word eureka.

That is where I am going because if you are reading this, you know about the religious meaning and day. The election recently should bring us all an epiphany and I think it does. There is a sudden awareness that our country is no what we thought it was and that hatred, fear and greed have never gone away. It makes no difference who you voted for, the epiphany is the same, “what have we become?” and “what does this future hold?”

I had an epiphany, garnered from the endless discussion and commentary. Here it is: rather than walk in a world of hear, hatred, greed, and worry and feel helpless or scared, I suddenly saw all of this as a time of Examen. That word, taken from the writings and practices of St. Ignatius, is exactly what I need and I think our whole Christian faith family needs. It is also what our country needs.

Borrowed from any simple Prayer card of the order, here is what we ought to do, especially in these days of concern: 1. Ask God for light; 2. give thanks; 3. Review the day; 4. Face your shortcomings; and, 5. Look toward the day to come. Now, for more depth about this simple but powerful process, you can easily find it on the internet. I present it here because I believe I need it every day, to keep me honest. Notice, there is nothing there about guilt or shame. Nope, just a good look inside, with thanks given for having had the day you have just lived. It is directed to our deepest places, the core of our being.

Sounds strange that I would start off with commentary on the world and go to personal examination. My epiphany is that I cannot change what is and it is unlikely my prayers to God to change it will do anything to change it. No friends, our prayer should change us and how we see life, not the rest of the world. I believe it is only when we choose to be changed that our world will change. Our new year should be filled with Examen, and with prayers for how we each can see what no one else wants to see and then be an instrument of peace and change. Start with you, be what you are called to be and be aware that part of that calling is to be “your brother’s keeper” and see where that takes you.

TMM

I hesitate to even write anything on this topic. I mean, what has not been written or said in 2,000 years? However, this  is a powerful and joyous day, whether you are a Christian or not and whether you are religious or not. It is amazing that this insignificant little life has impacted an entire world, especially a world the people of that time could never imagine.

Imagine a 14 year old girl pregnant and afraid she will die because of it. What faith did it take to say yes to following through to birth? Think of this conversation: “Mary,  I know you think you really messed up, really disappointed everyone. I am going to take the “mistake” you think you made and I am going to use that little life to save the world. Do you believe that?” And, because she said yes, the world is impacted by that one little insignificant life.

And what about Joseph? That same conversation with God: I know you think you really messed up and that the world as you have known it has forever changed. It has Joseph, but not as you imagine. No, I am going to use what you think is a serious mistake and save the world with that mistake.  And Joseph said yes. Now, I ask you, who are the two most faithful people in all of the Bible? Mary and Joseph of course. And whether you are a Christian or not, you have to concede that one little boy, born into abject poverty, oppression and hopelessness has and does change the entire world every day. By the way, if you don’t remember, he is a person of color, an illegal alien to the Romans, a future failure born to a failed couple and a failed people. You see, that is really how insignificant this one little life was.

How about you? Do you realize you are the virgin? Male or female makes no difference, we all have to give birth to this little life, this little spark every day. Can we be as faithful as these two? Imagine that little life coming alive in your heart and being exhibited in all that you and I do each day. We can keep changing the world. Give birth this day, in the city you live in. No shepherds needed.

 

TMM