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The word “why” can be one of wonder. It can also be a word of annoyance when it comes, usually continuously, from the mouth of a two or three year old. It can also be word of deep mourning when we lose one we love and cry to God, “Why?!”

It is this latter that is, sadly, today’s meditation.  Just a day ago, yet another shooting happened in a public high school and many are dead. No, this is not about gun control because this blog is about faith, hope, love, and observances of life. No, the thoughts here are about “Why”. First, why do things like this happen and how can we wrap our minds around such evil and pain.

We are, most of us, taught to think of God as someone who has to punish us for our sins, who had to send his Son to earn our forgiveness. This is just not true, we are all amazing creations, the representation of the image of God on this earth, so God does not punish us. Second, why does God allow this to happen? This question also reflects a belief that God controls each and every movement, act, and event. If this is true, we have no free will. If this is true, we have no choices and we are created to be either good or evil.

I learned a long time ago, as a therapist, that the question is not why but what now? This is the real question of why. Why do we continue to let these things happen? You see, it is us, collectively, that have allowed a world evolve (or perhaps devolve) that there are shootings in churches and schools and clubs. We have allowed violence to rule our days. When you have to have “active shooter” drills a colleges, high schools and churches, the world has changed.

I want you to hear this though, that young, mentally ill kid is not the problem, he is the symptom. I believe he is the symptom of a world we have allowed to happen. We have created a world in which parents are detached from their kids. Parents have unresolved issues and cannot help their own children. We are no longer our brother’s keepers. We see things and are afraid to report them or tell someone.

So, dear ones, this post is not very uplifting on a day when it seems most dark. The question is not why but what now? We can change this. I believe we are called to joy, to love, to peace. Can I see God in a young man who pulls the trigger and kills so many? When I can, I will understand what the real problem is in this world. Until I can connect to the “least” of God’s children, I cannot understand how to help the problem.

We are each responsible for these terrible events. Until we actively choose to see our responsibility and get involved, they will continue. We are God’s presence in this world. If we don’t do it who will? If now is not the time, when is the time?

TMM

Have you ever had what folks call an “aha moment”? That moment when everything suddenly made sense? I have had many, across a wide variety of experiences. I have had them as a student and as a professor. That moment when a concept or principle comes into focus. I have had it as a martial artist, that moment when a technique comes together and makes all the sense in the world.

The best at aha moments, though, are children. I love watching little children, 1 or 2 years old as the have moment after moment of discovery. A new food is “aha”, bring me more or no I hate beets! Look at that new color. Oh, that’s a doggie or a kitty. It is such fun to watch them.

You do know, we are called to be that way as well, right? We come back to God as children, hopeful for that “aha” moment with God. That moment when we go “aha, God has never ever left me”. Jesus said it several times, the need for the faith of a child. But what did he mean? Children live life with expectation and hope and innocence. They don’t seem to take anything for granted and if something goes awry, after a little cry (or tantrum, there is a 2 year old grandson around quite often) children simply move on. Grown ups do not!

Grown ups hold grudges, hold hatred, hold anger, hold guilt, and grief. Isn’t it sad that we grown ups hold on to those things but find faith, love, hope, and forgiveness fleeting most of the time. The T-shirts that say “being grown up is no fun” are not wrong. Grown ups love to worry and usually believe they know what is best for themselves.

I get tired of being a grown up. I read a saying once that goes, if you  haven’t grown up by the time you are 60, you don’t have to.” I gave up growing up for Lent three years ago, now I just get older. Actually, I am not kidding, in my spiritual life I have been brought to many moments that, as a grown up, I have chosen to be “grown up” about it and not forgiven, not been faithful, thought I could handle it myself. Fr. Richard Rohr pointed out something recently that gave me another aha moment, that not forgiving myself is a form of pride. It is me telling God, I will get back to you when I get this sorted out for myself and am ready to be forgiven.

You know, just writing that gives me the “aha” moment over again. I have been prideful a whole lot in my life. I have experienced so many times when I just was not worthy, just could not see me the way God sees me. And, I have caused myself great pain and heartache. I have caused God the pain of watching me founder, when all I had to do is quit being so darned grown up about it all.

It is scary to give up control, except, I have never been in control and neither have you. We get caught up in trying to achieve, to “make it”, rise above, etc. How foolish is this? You will never catch a child doing that. When I actually was a child, I grew up in an environment where I felt like I was never good enough. I always had to be right because being wrong means not good enough. I have to tell you, all these years later I am tired of trying.

The moment I quit trying, that is the moment God has been waiting for and that is the moment I feel loving arms of the Sacred wrapping around me. I can hear the Eternal saying to me now, “I have waited for this moment, it is time for you to be my child again and receive your rest and my love”. Aren’t you tired too? Then quit trying, you are perfect just the way you are. And those loving arms of God, feel so warm and wonderful that you can finally imagine that you are where you have always wanted to be.

TMM

I have been athletic all my life. I have had no small number of coaches and teachers. Each time I learned a new skill, it began by mimicking what the coach said to do. But it did not become a very useful skill until I made it my own. That is to say, I had done it enough that it started to be natural to me and that skill became an expression of myself.

This same idea is active and alive in my classrooms at the college. I can give insight, instruction and information in every class (and I think I do, with a touch of humor) but until my students “make it their own” it is just information. They have to use what I have given them, have to see for themselves that it can work and then they have to use the information from their own perspective of it. The fancy name for that is critical thinking or critical analysis.

As the professor, I often get to see that moment when all of the knowledge that I have given comes together in the student and the “light bulb goes on”. I confess that as a teacher, I live for that moment and it brings a wonderful, quiet satisfaction. It is, at that moment, theirs. After that moment, when the student “owns it”, wisdom can begin. Wisdom is the ability to use knowledge in effective ways.

Apply this to the Christian path (or any religious path for that matter). You can read scripture and follow the rules, but until you “own it” (often called insight) it is just that, following, not being. If one follows the rules for the sake of following the rules or perhaps to avoid bad consequences, that person has not owned their knowledge. Until they own it, it is someone else’s path, not theirs’.

Jesus came to teach us how to own it, the spiritual life that is. He did (and does do) that by telling us to get past the rules, the rituals and begin to live out the intention of the scripture. It is what got him killed. You see, people get comfortable with the rules, with obedience to the rules because it is safe and secure. Most of all they don’t have to own it, so if it goes wrong they have the “devil” to blame.

The Christian path (again, any spiritual path) isn’t our own until we make it our own. The New Testament teaches to “work out your own salvation, with fear and trembling”. Think of that, salvation is not a one time, one moment thing according to the Scripture. We, each one, have to work it out for ourselves. The fear and trembling actually reference the ideas of awe and  humility.

That is how we make this path our own, by paying attention to it every day. By not blindly following but instead, owning this life and doing it with a deep sense of awe and a deep sense of humility. For you see, dear ones, when you see every day as a gift you don’t deserve (trembling) and that it is awe-some (fear), you own your own life. You have become a mystic.

TMM

If you have ever been in total darkness, you suddenly understand the gift of sight. While visiting Carlsbad Caverns many years ago, they demonstrated that by turning out all of the lights. When you are that far underground, the darkness is total. They warn you not to move and when it goes dark, you don’t want to. Then the lights come back on and you feel relief and the moments in darkness that were anxious are replace by appreciation of light.

Total darkness seems like the worst case scenario, unless of course you have been born blind, then it is simply how life is. I had a colleague who was blind from birth and an excellent therapist. I believe part of that was he was not distracted by how the client might look. Instead, his attention was focused on what he could hear and sense. Even really good therapists don’t start that way, but what makes them good is when they get past looks and can hear the client’s heart.

Jesus was ridiculed for not being educated. The ridicule came from those who were totally blind to what he was saying. And let’s be honest, some of those parables are kinda confusing. Jesus’ answer to them is, for me, like turning the lights in the cave back on.  To paraphrase, he told them that those who seek to do things God’s way (seek the will of God) are able to understand what he is saying. Now that is an eye opener…no pun intended.

Think of this, if you are like me you have read the Bible for most of your life. At what point did it start making sense? Or does it? My experience is that the only way to truly understand is to see the world, see people and see life from God’s point of view: Love! When I began to pursue “the will of God”, meaning when I began to try to see the world the way God does, parables and psalms and stories from the Bible started to come into a new focus.

Remember in the model prayer, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”? We know the kingdom of God has come, according to Jesus. But what does it mean to do God’s will on earth like it is done in heaven? I think it is to let go of ourselves and see things God’s way, and to do so joyously without expecting anything in return for doing so. The moment you do God’s will for a reward, yes even to get into heaven, you are no longer doing things like they are done in heaven. You have returned to being self-directed rather than be God directed.

Sight is precious for sure. Sight is more precious when it is a gift that is unexpected, unearned. Think of Jesus word’s from the perspective of God’s love and affirmation for all things in the world. Not from a perspective of punishment, not from disgust because of our “sins”, not across a chasm separating God from us but from deep love for all in this world. Jesus taught that those times when we saw the truth clearly were given to us by God. He told Peter that on more than one occasion. And, God gives us that when we “seek to do his will” which is to love God and the world and ourselves exactly as God does.

Trust me on this one, the Scriptures, life, loved ones, even those you really don’t care for will be seen as if they just turned the cave lights back on. Then, this entire walk with the Divine suddenly makes sense and we have a new appreciation for being able to see.

TMM

When church people read the word stewardship, they immediately know they are going to be asked to give money to the church. It is strange to me that we call asking for money at the church a “stewardship drive” when stewardship is not at all about giving. The word means to carefully manage something for someone else.

Yes, I get it, we are to be good stewards of our money and give to the church, but that is tithing, not stewardship. We are called, from the beginning of the earth, to be good stewards. Having “dominion” over all is to have the responsibility for all that is on earth. It does not mean we can do whatever we want with it. Doing what we want is what got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden of Eden, where they were to be good stewards. That darn piece of fruit was the first act of willfulness, of going our own way.

When we put what we want before what we are called to do by God, that is called “sin”, missing the mark. Sin may or may not be evil, it is simply going  our own way. Instead we are called to be stewards, to take care of something that is not ours. If you were to take that view about everything, from your car, to your house, to your kids, to your significant other, how would that change you?

When we live life in stewardship, we serve all of creation.  When we are good stewards we take care of our car, our house, our relationships, and ourselves. That is one I have to work harder on, being a good steward of myself. You see I am not my own, I am “owned” by Another. To truly take care of myself means that I carefully manage myself because I don’t own me.

Apply this to your relationships, both with your significant other and your friends. Carefully managing relationships honors the other and makes both of you free from ownership, of having to control something. And then, let’s apply stewardship to our most important relationship, our personal relationship to God. Are we carefully managing that as well?

Being a good steward is not easy because it means that we realize we don’t control things, we only manage them for another. God is a good steward of his relationship to us, we call that Grace. And as stewards, are we offering back that grace to God? Sound crazy? It isn’t. God needs us, we are the expression of God in the world, so each time we offer love and stewardship to the world, we return our grace to God. Let us allow our stewardship for all things bless God.

TMM

Do you own anything? That seems like a strange question but it is important. I teach college students and when you ask many of them what they want to be when they grow up they talk about “things” to possess or a six figure salary. They almost never talk about being happy or satisfied with life. They want possessions, to own things.

I try to tell them that owning and possessing both come with a price. It is clear that getting what you want means you are “owned” by what you want. The pursuit of having leads to being a slave to the process, to that pursuit. I have written elsewhere about how much is enough and possessing things is never enough.

I don’t know who first said this but a number of minister friends of mine talk about showing them your checkbook and they will show you where you worship. In this day and age, there is not really a checkbook to show. I guess today it would be, “show me your debit card expenditures”. There is some truth to this in that where we spend our money tells what we are pursuing but not what we worship.

I grew up in a home with very little money. Now, I didn’t go without the essentials of food, clothes and shelter, but I did not get much of what I wanted, only what I needed. To get what I wanted meant I had to work for it. Coming from having very little has led me to treasure what I do have and to work for what I want. People who come from oppression, either economic or social, have literally never had even all that they need. From this sort of life, possessing something becomes paramount in life. So, for most of my students, I think I will give them a pass because that is where they come from, never even having what they need.

So, what is my point? St. Francis told his monks and all that would listen that they were to possess nothing. These very profound views from almost 800 years ago still ring true today. We do not possess the Earth, we are but stewards of the Earth. St. Francis applied this to all things we might have. When we don’t possess things, but instead see ourselves as renters of those things, we find freedom.

Our true forefathers of this land, Native Americans, knew this. They knew what God wanted, for us to be free to be one with the land, to honor it, to preserve it and to use it for the good of all. It took white men from Europe to change all of that. They not only enslaved people, they enslaved the land. Consider that white people abused the land exactly the same way as their slaves. This is because both were mere possessions to them.

When we are caught up in having what we want, in possessing as much as we can, be behave like our white forefathers, we begin to see the whole world as something to be possessed and owned. We also treat others the same way. Does Jesus’ words to the rich young ruler now make sense? “Give up all you own and follow me”.

Today, will you become a mere tenant with me? How about we truly become free and see all that we have a a gift and not a possession. I promise it will make you free.

TMM

Have you ever made a sacrifice? My parents sacrificed so that I and my brother could be successful, go to college, have a good life. To sacrifice of course means to give up something and they gave up having fancy things, better homes, so that their sons could have a chance to be successful.

As you consider what you have sacrificed, think of this as a natural response to the needs of others, those close to us especially. What can be sacrificed? Well, just about anything, but it has to have the consequence of self-denial. It is not a sacrifice if you give up your seat at a meeting for example and then take another seat. If you give up that seat and you have to stand for the entire meeting, that is a sacrifice.

It is also not a sacrifice if you have two of something and you give one away. That may be generous or even incredibly generous, but it is not a sacrifice, you still have enough. A sacrifice always means you do without, not just that you have less. So, think of this: what have you sacrificed? And for whom? And, if you have, was it worth it?

Scripture talks about making sacrifices. The Temple was the place in the early days of the people of Israel. Before that, Abraham in the wilderness with Isaac, that was going to be a tremendous sacrifice. In war, many have made the “ultimate” sacrifice of their lives to save others or the sacrifice of a healthy body so that others might not be injured. These are sacrifices that represent doing what is best for another, without considering the cost to oneself.

The sacrifice God made was to give up being God and to become Jesus.  God did it because God saw the need of others and that is what mattered. Interestingly, it really doesn’t have to do with dying so much as giving up the privilege of never having to die.  The sacrifice of the Cross was just that, giving up being God and, choosing human instead. The Eucharist is the celebration of God becoming human, body and blood, totally human.

We are taught to present ourselves as “living sacrifices”. What does that mean? That we die? And what are we doing without that we need? We die to ourselves, we give up what we think is best for us and choose another path. And, that path has no guarantee that we will get anything in return. If it did, then it would not be a sacrifice.

Too many Christians do not understand sacrifice. When bad things happen, they say “why me God?” Or “why is God punishing me”? But, you know what they never do? When all of the good things of life happen to them they never ask “why me”? To be a mystic is to always ask why me? When there is a beautiful sunrise, a mystic thinks, why has God honored me with this sight? This is living a life of sacrifice, to give up what I think I want and need and risk it all on a life that may or may not be fun, happy, or easy.

So, let’s risk it each day. Let’s sacrifice getting our way for once and just take the risk that God will accept that sacrifice. And please note, God is not required to accept that sacrifice. Why should we get rewarded for what we are supposed to do every day? To give up our own life without expectation of reward is to sacrifice. That does not sound easy and it isn’t. But it is worth it…..but to know that you have to risk it.

TMM

I have several friends who identify as pagan. That is a frightening word to so many people, but it simply means of the earth, or farm, or out in the country. Native American spirituality is pagan; Shintoism is pagan; and Hinduism is pagan. Does that mean these religious traditions are evil? Most certainly not because if Christians and Jews are honest, their own faith traditions derived from pagan practices.

Let’s see, Easter (Oestra), Christmas (Yuletide); All Saints Day (Samhain). The list continues on…..and it should because these old holidays are based on the Earth and people’s relationship to the Earth. As Christianity spread, instead of disrespecting these older traditions, those early Christians simply chose to explain those old traditions through new “eyes”, the life and presence of Jesus, the Christ.

My family heritage is the clan of Fitzgibbon, the lineage that leads back to Limmerick in Ireland. As I read about Celtic Christianity and traditions, it is clear that these traditions are interwoven with the “old ways”. And why shouldn’t they be? All of creation is the presence of God, is it not? “Consider the birds ……the flowers….” Jesus himself used many examples that call  us back to our relationship to all of creation. So my pagan friends are just as valued and meaningful to God as the Pope, the pastor, or us. The difference is that in Christ we have discovered that we can have a personal relationship with the One God.

These days, there are so many who would just continue to take from Mother Earth, disrespect her, tear her to pieces and think nothing of it. Sadly, a whole bunch of these folks are using Christian to describe themselves. How sad it is to realize that our pagan brothers and sisters are the ones who know better. How foolish have we white Christians been in American for not listening to our Native American brothers and sisters.

We are taught that we are taken from the earth and to the earth we will return (ashes to ashes, dust to dust) and yet we think we are better than that, more intelligent, more refined. Jesus was not refined, he was a country boy from a region most people scoffed at and though of as rural and backward. Hmm, I think we just came full circle: pagan=country; Jesus=country. Many of His miracles arose simply because he knew that he was part of, not outside of, all the Earth and in Mother Earth there has always been healing power.

So, am I trying to turn you, dear reader, into a pagan? No, that is not the point. The point is this, if we truly want to be one with the Living God, then we must honor all of Creation. We must embrace and care for Mother Earth, her lands, her animals and, oh yeah, EVERY living thing. Yes, every living soul on this earth deserves our respect and love. That is the narrow path we are called to, that is what it means to love our enemies. That is loving our neighbor.

So, go sit on the porch, or in the woods, or at the park and look at the face of the living God. Look at the people you pass in the mall, the grocery store, or pass in traffic because you are looking at the face of the living Christ. Yes, God’s kingdom has come.

TMM

In the Star Trek series and movies, Spock’s farewell was always, “live long and prosper”. And before you ask, yes I can still make the Vulcan sign of greeting. And no, I don’t belong on Big Bang Theory, I am not smart enough. Anyway, this prosperity thing is the goal of so many. It is the theological foundation of no small number of churches.

This word represents much of what is wrong in this world. To have opulence, wealth, affluence, success…..the list of words goes on. These days we sum it up with the word rich. I once had an employee who was being paid a near six figure salary for a job they had just begun to learn how to do. In a year that person demanded a raise. I met with the person and their significant other (who made a seven figure salary) and simply said, “how much is enough”.? These two were affluent.

I am not suggesting they were bad people, because I know for sure they believe themselves to be exemplary Christians. What I am suggesting is that they are the epitome of the Prosperity Gospel. Think 20,000 member churches in big cities. But before it seems like I am bashing rich people, let me say that this idea is not a new one. The Protestant Reformation introduced us to Calvinism. Calvinism with its ideas of predestination and election, led to the Protestant Work Ethic, which basically teaches that through hard work and prosperity, one demonstrates that they are among the elect.

So there you have it, the preachers of the Prosperity gospel are simply really good Calvinists. Now before my Reformed readers leave, there is much more to Calvanism that prosperity and election. Many do not actually accept the predestination idea anymore. The point is, even the Church has taught this idea that our path in life is toward prosperity and God. That one path.  And this idea has spawned hundreds of years of shame, guilt and confusion.

The path to the Father is inward not outward. It may or may not be prosperous but rest assured it is not easy. Hence, Jesus saying that the path is narrow. That does not mean few find it or get to walk it. It does mean that the path inward to the Father (who has always been right there inside) is a direct path governed by love and love alone. It is easier to just not choose such a path.

Choosing such a path, a narrow path, means we have to give up! I have noted before, giving up our way, the path we think we should be on, and our ideas of what is best for us, that is the narrow path. It is also the path to Joy and Love. That is true Prosperity in God, to know and grow in the Love of the One who has always loved us. That is what it means to have “riches laid up for you in heaven”.

So what do you say? Let’s take Spock at his word let us live long and prosper. Prosper in the joyous and loving relationship the Creator of the Universe has already established within us. In this way we will live out a gospel that is opulent in love, rich in joy, and in the good fortune of loving others as much as we love ourselves.

It won’t involve a Rolls Royce or a 20 room mansion or affluence that makes us famous. It will involve giving up, letting go, letting God in all the way. And then living out John 10:10 life in abundance. Now that is prosperity.

TMM

Okay, start here, the pronunciation is “lan’yap. In the South, especially in Louisiana, this is a common word to hear. What does it mean? Well, you can go to the dictionary, but it means “a little something extra”. Something not expected, a true gift. Think baker’s dozen (thirteen doughnuts instead of 12 for you young people).

Now that the language lesson is over, let’s think about this idea. Have you ever given a lagniappe? Have you ever given a little more than was necessary or expected? What about at work, have you ever given a little more to the task? Ever give your significant other a little something extra? This is a hard tradition to imagine in a world that is dedicated to materialism and getting all you can.

In life, we always have choices. The greatest choice for Christians is whether to give up or not. Sound strange? It shouldn’t, because we are called to give up who we are in favor of who Christ showed us we could be. This is not easy because we are asked to be completely opposite of what society expects us to be. What we have been taught we should be.

In monastic terms, this is called “conversion of manners” and that is a good way to see it. But to do this means you have to let go of all that you have been taught you should be, all that you think you should be and become who we are all called to be, the Living Word to the world. This is scary stuff to all of us.

Maybe this will help, the Eternal Father offers each of us a lagniappe. A little something extra that isn’t expected or earned. We call that grace. Grace is the lagniappe that we don’t expect as we let go of who we should be and recognize who we are created to be. And, we cannot see it until we “give up” all of our shoulds and accept who we actually are, God’s good creation, every one of us!

And here’s the rest of the thought. We walk through a life and a world filled with lagniappes given by God and only when we see it from God’s point of view do we actually notice. There’s that conversion of manners again. Add to that this question: when was the last time you or I gave a lagniappe A little bit extra that no one notices until after you are gone?

TMM