Month: February 2018

I am the youngest. My brother was 8 years older than me and he rarely let me forget that as we were growing up. He was so mean to me, he teased me, ran away when I was trying to follow him and taught me how to play 52 pick-up. Come on, you know that game: you ask your little brother (or sister) if they want to play 52 pick-up, when they say yes because they would do just about anything for you, you take a deck of cards and throw them all over the room. You leave while the little brother or sister is picking up the cards.

But you know what? My brother loved me fiercely, ask the neighborhood bully who got caught picking on me. My brother made very sure I was never bullied again. And, in truth, he included me so much more than I had any right to expect. He taught me to play baseball when I was about 3 years old, chess when I was about 4, and set the example of reading at every chance. And I am a better person for it all. I have passed the reading and writing traditions on to my own daughter, who loved her uncle desperately.

My daughter got married a year or so ago. She would not tell me the song she chose for us to walk down the aisle to. My brother loved the Beach Boys and he and my daughter had several afternoons of just the two of them “cruising” in my brother’s truck and listening to the Beach Boys. How he loved my daughter. So, we walked the aisle to “God only knows what I would be without you” and yep, cried like a baby. But my brother was truly at the wedding!

This reminiscence is not an accident, today my brother would have been 71. He has been gone, a victim of cancer, for 14 years. I have missed him a bit each day and can, on occasion, hear his voice.  He had a giant heart and, after 22 years as a Marine, his best claim to fame was that he was an expert on Dr. Seuss and read to school kids often. Each time, kids checked out more books from the library. Big tough Marine, giant heart, easy touch when it came to children. It is why I have a tattoo of the Dr. Seuss red and white top hat, that is how I honor and remember him each day.

So, do you have a brother or a sister? Younger or older? Whichever it is, never forget that they helped forge the path you are on and you helped to forge theirs. Please don’t forget.  Celebrate it with them today! Because it truly is too late when they are gone. And, if you are an only child, that is okay, you have what we call “fictive” kin that you can celebrate, those who have been like a brother or sister.

Come to think of it, if you are a Christian (or any religion really), you have a life full of brothers and sisters, your spiritual family. How about today, you say a long prayer for them and the next time you see them, treat them like they really are family.

TMM

It is interesting that we live in a world, or at least a society, that demands that each person make it on their own. Personal responsibility is the usual label. It is the bane of American society that we refuse to be our brother’s keeper (sister too!). How did we get to this point, where we care only for ourselves?

The seeds were sown hundreds of years ago, I believe when the Reformation so accented the concept of the “priesthood of the believer” that people began to ignore the need for community. I firmly believe that I do not need anyone to represent me before the Sacred. I get that, it had to change so that we would not feel disconnected from the Lover of our souls. However, the temptation to go our own way is often too strong for us and ego can lead us to the conclusion that we do not need anyone but God.

This dear friend is foolish and it is not what is found in scripture. Any reading of the Psalms clearly points to being in harmony with all of creation. Genesis begins with the idea that it is not good that humankind should be alone. The Trinity is a community, it is the first community. But human nature, being what it is, leads us to believe that we don’t need anyone or anything else.  That is not the meaning of “God Alone”.

Instead, that phrase points us,  yes all of us, to where our loyalty lies, to God Alone. We cannot receive the fullness of God’s grace if we are not living in community with God’s creation. Without the mirror of others, living in a community, we cannot understand ourselves. We cannot see ourselves as we truly are.

And that is the fallacy, that we can somehow get through this world alone. I need you and you need me. We often hate to admit that we need someone but that is the reality. It is not a sign of weakness. It takes great courage to risk letting others into our lives. It takes great courage to ask for help. But, until we can ask for help, we cannot understand the meaning of grace. Until we understand that we need the Other, we cannot know salvation. Oneness is our calling. One with the Creator. One with all of our brothers and sisters that are humankind. One with all of creation. That is the call of the one who loves our soul. Perfect union with God.

TMM

 

Politics has become a “bad” word these days. I get that, when we talk about politics, it always touches on something that we really don’t want to deal with or that makes us angry or sad. This is especially true when we think of religion and politics together.

At family gatherings, the rule is we don’t talk politics and religion. The idea is we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anyone mad. I know that is a big deal at Christmas and Thanksgiving. We would rather argue about which pro football team is the best. We would rather gossip about the family member or members who are not there that year. Let’s think about that for a minute: we don’t want to argue about political or religious ideas but we are willing to put down our own family members?

I write to express my heart and to, maybe, touch on some things about the living God that we are all thinking. It is important to me that I write what is in my heart. Today, what is in my heart is that I (and every Christian) is called to be political. We are called to stand for those who cannot stand for themselves. We are called by Christ to stand against oppression, against discrimination, and against wrong. It does not matter who does it, that is the call to each of us.

Why don’t we speak about the “unspeakable” when we are together with family? It is painful to recognize that there are things in the world that make us sad, angry, and/or emotional. Isn’t that what we are supposed to be? Isn’t that what makes us alive? The theologian John Howard Yoder wrote a book called the Politics of Jesus.  And, Jesus most certainly was political. He stood for us all against the organized church of his day, that had gone astray with rules instead of preaching about love.  And they killed him for it!

This Christian life is not always or even often easy. We are called to serve the “least of these his brothers and sisters”. That is political in and of itself when we live in a society that marginalizes anyone who is seen as unworthy of assistance. We help those we call the “deserving poor”. Those are people who we see as trying to do or be better. They aren’t lazy or looking for a handout. When are we going to see that Jesus came for those who aren’t trying, to those who don’t get better, those who want a handout? That describes each of us.

The harsh truth is none of us deserve grace. None of us deserve to be loved by the Creator of all. None of us is good enough and we all want a handout. We want God to be convenient to us, to be there every time we pray. And God is there, every time we pray and every time we don’t.  And yet, we cannot be there for those who ask for help because we don’t want to be political? We don’t want to ruffle some feathers? Dear ones, we are called to do just that, ruffle feathers, even the feathers of those we call family or friend.

TMM

The word “why” can be one of wonder. It can also be a word of annoyance when it comes, usually continuously, from the mouth of a two or three year old. It can also be word of deep mourning when we lose one we love and cry to God, “Why?!”

It is this latter that is, sadly, today’s meditation.  Just a day ago, yet another shooting happened in a public high school and many are dead. No, this is not about gun control because this blog is about faith, hope, love, and observances of life. No, the thoughts here are about “Why”. First, why do things like this happen and how can we wrap our minds around such evil and pain.

We are, most of us, taught to think of God as someone who has to punish us for our sins, who had to send his Son to earn our forgiveness. This is just not true, we are all amazing creations, the representation of the image of God on this earth, so God does not punish us. Second, why does God allow this to happen? This question also reflects a belief that God controls each and every movement, act, and event. If this is true, we have no free will. If this is true, we have no choices and we are created to be either good or evil.

I learned a long time ago, as a therapist, that the question is not why but what now? This is the real question of why. Why do we continue to let these things happen? You see, it is us, collectively, that have allowed a world evolve (or perhaps devolve) that there are shootings in churches and schools and clubs. We have allowed violence to rule our days. When you have to have “active shooter” drills a colleges, high schools and churches, the world has changed.

I want you to hear this though, that young, mentally ill kid is not the problem, he is the symptom. I believe he is the symptom of a world we have allowed to happen. We have created a world in which parents are detached from their kids. Parents have unresolved issues and cannot help their own children. We are no longer our brother’s keepers. We see things and are afraid to report them or tell someone.

So, dear ones, this post is not very uplifting on a day when it seems most dark. The question is not why but what now? We can change this. I believe we are called to joy, to love, to peace. Can I see God in a young man who pulls the trigger and kills so many? When I can, I will understand what the real problem is in this world. Until I can connect to the “least” of God’s children, I cannot understand how to help the problem.

We are each responsible for these terrible events. Until we actively choose to see our responsibility and get involved, they will continue. We are God’s presence in this world. If we don’t do it who will? If now is not the time, when is the time?

TMM

Have you ever had what folks call an “aha moment”? That moment when everything suddenly made sense? I have had many, across a wide variety of experiences. I have had them as a student and as a professor. That moment when a concept or principle comes into focus. I have had it as a martial artist, that moment when a technique comes together and makes all the sense in the world.

The best at aha moments, though, are children. I love watching little children, 1 or 2 years old as the have moment after moment of discovery. A new food is “aha”, bring me more or no I hate beets! Look at that new color. Oh, that’s a doggie or a kitty. It is such fun to watch them.

You do know, we are called to be that way as well, right? We come back to God as children, hopeful for that “aha” moment with God. That moment when we go “aha, God has never ever left me”. Jesus said it several times, the need for the faith of a child. But what did he mean? Children live life with expectation and hope and innocence. They don’t seem to take anything for granted and if something goes awry, after a little cry (or tantrum, there is a 2 year old grandson around quite often) children simply move on. Grown ups do not!

Grown ups hold grudges, hold hatred, hold anger, hold guilt, and grief. Isn’t it sad that we grown ups hold on to those things but find faith, love, hope, and forgiveness fleeting most of the time. The T-shirts that say “being grown up is no fun” are not wrong. Grown ups love to worry and usually believe they know what is best for themselves.

I get tired of being a grown up. I read a saying once that goes, if you  haven’t grown up by the time you are 60, you don’t have to.” I gave up growing up for Lent three years ago, now I just get older. Actually, I am not kidding, in my spiritual life I have been brought to many moments that, as a grown up, I have chosen to be “grown up” about it and not forgiven, not been faithful, thought I could handle it myself. Fr. Richard Rohr pointed out something recently that gave me another aha moment, that not forgiving myself is a form of pride. It is me telling God, I will get back to you when I get this sorted out for myself and am ready to be forgiven.

You know, just writing that gives me the “aha” moment over again. I have been prideful a whole lot in my life. I have experienced so many times when I just was not worthy, just could not see me the way God sees me. And, I have caused myself great pain and heartache. I have caused God the pain of watching me founder, when all I had to do is quit being so darned grown up about it all.

It is scary to give up control, except, I have never been in control and neither have you. We get caught up in trying to achieve, to “make it”, rise above, etc. How foolish is this? You will never catch a child doing that. When I actually was a child, I grew up in an environment where I felt like I was never good enough. I always had to be right because being wrong means not good enough. I have to tell you, all these years later I am tired of trying.

The moment I quit trying, that is the moment God has been waiting for and that is the moment I feel loving arms of the Sacred wrapping around me. I can hear the Eternal saying to me now, “I have waited for this moment, it is time for you to be my child again and receive your rest and my love”. Aren’t you tired too? Then quit trying, you are perfect just the way you are. And those loving arms of God, feel so warm and wonderful that you can finally imagine that you are where you have always wanted to be.

TMM

I have been athletic all my life. I have had no small number of coaches and teachers. Each time I learned a new skill, it began by mimicking what the coach said to do. But it did not become a very useful skill until I made it my own. That is to say, I had done it enough that it started to be natural to me and that skill became an expression of myself.

This same idea is active and alive in my classrooms at the college. I can give insight, instruction and information in every class (and I think I do, with a touch of humor) but until my students “make it their own” it is just information. They have to use what I have given them, have to see for themselves that it can work and then they have to use the information from their own perspective of it. The fancy name for that is critical thinking or critical analysis.

As the professor, I often get to see that moment when all of the knowledge that I have given comes together in the student and the “light bulb goes on”. I confess that as a teacher, I live for that moment and it brings a wonderful, quiet satisfaction. It is, at that moment, theirs. After that moment, when the student “owns it”, wisdom can begin. Wisdom is the ability to use knowledge in effective ways.

Apply this to the Christian path (or any religious path for that matter). You can read scripture and follow the rules, but until you “own it” (often called insight) it is just that, following, not being. If one follows the rules for the sake of following the rules or perhaps to avoid bad consequences, that person has not owned their knowledge. Until they own it, it is someone else’s path, not theirs’.

Jesus came to teach us how to own it, the spiritual life that is. He did (and does do) that by telling us to get past the rules, the rituals and begin to live out the intention of the scripture. It is what got him killed. You see, people get comfortable with the rules, with obedience to the rules because it is safe and secure. Most of all they don’t have to own it, so if it goes wrong they have the “devil” to blame.

The Christian path (again, any spiritual path) isn’t our own until we make it our own. The New Testament teaches to “work out your own salvation, with fear and trembling”. Think of that, salvation is not a one time, one moment thing according to the Scripture. We, each one, have to work it out for ourselves. The fear and trembling actually reference the ideas of awe and  humility.

That is how we make this path our own, by paying attention to it every day. By not blindly following but instead, owning this life and doing it with a deep sense of awe and a deep sense of humility. For you see, dear ones, when you see every day as a gift you don’t deserve (trembling) and that it is awe-some (fear), you own your own life. You have become a mystic.

TMM

If you have ever been in total darkness, you suddenly understand the gift of sight. While visiting Carlsbad Caverns many years ago, they demonstrated that by turning out all of the lights. When you are that far underground, the darkness is total. They warn you not to move and when it goes dark, you don’t want to. Then the lights come back on and you feel relief and the moments in darkness that were anxious are replace by appreciation of light.

Total darkness seems like the worst case scenario, unless of course you have been born blind, then it is simply how life is. I had a colleague who was blind from birth and an excellent therapist. I believe part of that was he was not distracted by how the client might look. Instead, his attention was focused on what he could hear and sense. Even really good therapists don’t start that way, but what makes them good is when they get past looks and can hear the client’s heart.

Jesus was ridiculed for not being educated. The ridicule came from those who were totally blind to what he was saying. And let’s be honest, some of those parables are kinda confusing. Jesus’ answer to them is, for me, like turning the lights in the cave back on.  To paraphrase, he told them that those who seek to do things God’s way (seek the will of God) are able to understand what he is saying. Now that is an eye opener…no pun intended.

Think of this, if you are like me you have read the Bible for most of your life. At what point did it start making sense? Or does it? My experience is that the only way to truly understand is to see the world, see people and see life from God’s point of view: Love! When I began to pursue “the will of God”, meaning when I began to try to see the world the way God does, parables and psalms and stories from the Bible started to come into a new focus.

Remember in the model prayer, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”? We know the kingdom of God has come, according to Jesus. But what does it mean to do God’s will on earth like it is done in heaven? I think it is to let go of ourselves and see things God’s way, and to do so joyously without expecting anything in return for doing so. The moment you do God’s will for a reward, yes even to get into heaven, you are no longer doing things like they are done in heaven. You have returned to being self-directed rather than be God directed.

Sight is precious for sure. Sight is more precious when it is a gift that is unexpected, unearned. Think of Jesus word’s from the perspective of God’s love and affirmation for all things in the world. Not from a perspective of punishment, not from disgust because of our “sins”, not across a chasm separating God from us but from deep love for all in this world. Jesus taught that those times when we saw the truth clearly were given to us by God. He told Peter that on more than one occasion. And, God gives us that when we “seek to do his will” which is to love God and the world and ourselves exactly as God does.

Trust me on this one, the Scriptures, life, loved ones, even those you really don’t care for will be seen as if they just turned the cave lights back on. Then, this entire walk with the Divine suddenly makes sense and we have a new appreciation for being able to see.

TMM