Month: December 2016

I hesitate to even write anything on this topic. I mean, what has not been written or said in 2,000 years? However, this  is a powerful and joyous day, whether you are a Christian or not and whether you are religious or not. It is amazing that this insignificant little life has impacted an entire world, especially a world the people of that time could never imagine.

Imagine a 14 year old girl pregnant and afraid she will die because of it. What faith did it take to say yes to following through to birth? Think of this conversation: “Mary,  I know you think you really messed up, really disappointed everyone. I am going to take the “mistake” you think you made and I am going to use that little life to save the world. Do you believe that?” And, because she said yes, the world is impacted by that one little insignificant life.

And what about Joseph? That same conversation with God: I know you think you really messed up and that the world as you have known it has forever changed. It has Joseph, but not as you imagine. No, I am going to use what you think is a serious mistake and save the world with that mistake.  And Joseph said yes. Now, I ask you, who are the two most faithful people in all of the Bible? Mary and Joseph of course. And whether you are a Christian or not, you have to concede that one little boy, born into abject poverty, oppression and hopelessness has and does change the entire world every day. By the way, if you don’t remember, he is a person of color, an illegal alien to the Romans, a future failure born to a failed couple and a failed people. You see, that is really how insignificant this one little life was.

How about you? Do you realize you are the virgin? Male or female makes no difference, we all have to give birth to this little life, this little spark every day. Can we be as faithful as these two? Imagine that little life coming alive in your heart and being exhibited in all that you and I do each day. We can keep changing the world. Give birth this day, in the city you live in. No shepherds needed.

 

TMM

When I was a child my family went to my aunt and uncle’s house for Christmas Eve. My gift to my uncle was always candied orange slices and to my aunt, cream filled chocolates. Of course, I didn’t pay, just picked them out. The evening was the only extended family time I ever had growing up. This evening was always special to me as a child. I was expectant, hopeful, and okay a bit anxious that I had been good enough to get presents. It did not help that my loving brother reminded me often that I needed to shape up. And, at the end of the evening we had to hurry home so I could be in bed before Santa came to visit.

Again, my brother would tease me by saying that those lights in the sky were Santa and I wasn’t going to make it home in time. Talk about childhood angst! Our house was in the flight path of the airport and the lights were so low they seemed to hang over our house. Now, to be fair, my brother loved me deeply, but he was 8 years older than I so you just know he was being a teenager at the time. And, a further truth was that it did a lot to enhance the excitement and expectation.

The eve of any special occasion is a time of excitement, expectation, and a bit of anxiety. It depends on the occasion. Easter, birthdays, Christmas, weddings (like the upcoming one of my baby) are all reasons to be excited and expectant. But, the eve is also a time to remember why the celebration is important. And that is the problem of my childhood. I never really knew the importance of the day to come. Yes, I knew of the Christmas story, but it had no real meaning for me.

It was not until much later in my life that I began to understand the reason for all of the celebration and hopefulness. That is very sad to me, one of the failings of my childhood. I wonder how I would be different if I had learned about the real reason for the season. I think that is why Christmas has become so important to me. The wonder of it ALL. The toys, presents, the lights and that one little life that is being celebrated.

So, to all who are eagerly expectant on the eve of any occasion, I want you to experience all of the feelings and  hopes that go with the coming of the next day. But, take a moment to remember why the next day is important to you. For Christmas, the return of light to the dark world. A birthday, the thankfulness of having had another year and the hope for a better coming year. Whatever the day, live the entire day out fully. Feelings, emotions, thoughts and hopes, have all of them, relish them (even painful ones). There will never be another day like it.

TMM

When I was a kid, there was a Peanuts t-shirt that had Snoopy with sunglasses and a Santa hat that said “have a cool Yule”. I like that, have a cool Yule. The sound of it is just…well, it just sings. I never knew what Yule was really about until much later. Then I had a few friends who were pagan and they observed Yule. As I studied, I learned about this celebration and suddenly the items and traditions of Christmas made sense.

Now, don’t turn this off because I said pagan above. It is true that most Christian holidays are coopted from pagan rites. There is a reason for this, which dates back to the spreading of the new Christianity across the world. Starting with Paul on Mars Hill, Christians have regularly addressed pagans by noting that they were right to worship where and what they worshipped. The difference is that they  could access the Creator God/Deity (my pagan friends understand the reference) directly  and most importantly, personally.

And, so it is with Yule. I have made a few cool Yule logs complete with candles and holly. The meaning is powerful and joyous. Haven’t you ever wondered about all of the lights? The evergreen trees? The traditional bonfires? And, most of all that  Jesus was born in winter, when we know that it was actually spring time. The winter solstice is the darkest day of the year, the shortest one, and traditionally the pagan folk saw that a spark of life remained, one that would keep life going until spring and longer days began. Hence, the evergreens, the candles, the fires.

So, here we are in Yuletide, singing songs like the Holly and the Ivy and seeing the blazing yule before us. This is truly a holy time. For Christians, we borrowed the holiday to explain that the great Light of the world is soon to arrive. Just a little spark in a little town in an irrelevant little country. To poor parents with no place to stay. And for all persons, the tiny spark of hope that new life is right around the corner. Just a tiny spark, like the ashes going up from a bonfire into the night. Except, this spark is in every single one of us. You see, we are that spark of hope for the world. Every one of us are the hope of the world. What will you do this year to fan that spark into a roaring fire of light for the world to see?

TMM

I work at a place where the college president loves to dance and expects everyone to dance when he has a get together. One of my greatest compliments came from him. At one of those functions, there was some great 70’s music playing and I did indeed dance. And the president said, “Dr. Farmer, you got moves”. That little compliment meant a lot to the white professor at a historically Black college. It means I am learning how to fit in and be a part of the culture. That means a lot to me in a current world that seems to only see differences.

Dancing is one of the most culturally defined things one can experience. From ballroom dancing, to hip hop, to the gumboot dancing of South Africa, each is a personal expression of the culture it developed from. In a recent blog by the speaker/writer Terry Hershey, he mentions the idea that what we all ought to do is dance amid the chaos of life. I find this quote very powerful, “When we look for what should be, we miss the music in the chaos of what is”.

I personally need this at a time when the country seems so chaotic and the Christmas rush is on and my sweet wife just got out of the hospital after a bout with asthma. It is so very easy to be angry or feel hurt and betrayed by life because it is not the way it should be. This on the heals of finals week and turning in grades. All of this is chaotic. And, until today, I missed the music.

I am bad about that, about being in the whirlwind and not listening for that “still small voice” speaking out of the whirlwind. I need to not avoid the chaos but listen for the music. This is what it means to live in the moment, to not shy away or deny it. There is music there, but we have to learn to listen, to find the rhythm.  To quote my favorite monk, Thomas Merton:

Dance in this sun you tepid idiot. Wake up and dance in the clarity of perfect contradiction. You fool, it is life that makes you dance: have you forgotten?

It seems I have forgotten. That is going to change. I am going to listen for the music and then dance. Can you hear it now? Softly, in this very moment of your life, can you hear it? It is there, that is the promise of the Creator. And when you hear it……… Dance!

TMM

 

When I was a young ministerial student (back in the day, as my college students might say) we would often joke that when a sermon got personal, confronting real issues, we had gone from preachin’ to meddlin’. I do that on a fairly regular basis in my college classroom, when I take social work values and ethics to the very personal level of the lives of my students. Many a minister has lost a job because their sermon was meddlin’ in the lives of their congregants.

I think that this is what my pagan friends miss. I have studied and learned about paganism and there is much to be learned there, in some of the oldest traditions of religion on the planet. Christianity was a departure from other traditions in one way really, getting personal with the Creator God. Jesus came as  the example of what a one to one relationship with the Creator of all could really be. And, look how magnificent that was and how it changed the world.

My studies of many religions have again and again pointed out the difference noted above, that God wants to make it personal. So many good people, of all religions, miss this wonderful difference and joy. In the life of Christ, God went from preachin’ to meddlin’ really quickly. God loves to meddle in our lives. Now, before you start saying God puts us to the test or God is the reason anything happens to us, let me explain God’s meddling the best I can.

We are never promised an easy way, full of only joyous things. What we are promised is that God is faithful and is there with us through it all. His meddling is that he constantly inserts himself into our experiences. It requires that we but look to see where God is present in “the whirlwind”. God made it personal from the moment we entered into this life. We are the Beloved, each and every one of us. At this time of the year, Advent, it is us who are being born on the darkest day of the year. It is us who are the one spark of light in the world. We are the Christ child in the manger. We are God’s meddlin’ in the world.

Remember vacation Bible school? We held up our finger and began to sing: “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine…..” On Christmas Eve, as we light the Christ candle, remember that you are the gift of light to the world. Find yourself in the small flame, flickering in a dark world.

 

TMM

What is faith exactly? Well, you answer, that was covered in the book of Hebrews: the essence of things hoped for the substance of things not seen. And that answers that, right? It sure does when things are going very well, life is in its proper balance and we can see clearly. What about those days when life, as they say, “goes to hell in a handbasket”?  Those days, faith is way in the back of your mind, replaced by fear, hopelessness, and  worry.

When the times are tough, someone is always willing to say these very irritating words, “You just have to have faith” or “It only takes the faith of a mustard seed you know.” These are always voiced by people who are in a good place in their lives at that moment. Sadly, those words come across as an accusation, not a hope for better times. It is as bad as saying, “well, everything has a purpose”. That also is  a lie. In life things just happen. Accidents, illness, and yes, even faithlessness.

I believe the Eternal One loves it when we are faithless. It is when the best work of the Sacred gets done. We have been taught, in church, that we initiate faith and that is just not true. God initiates even our own faith. Let me cover that again, faith, like salvation, like love, all comes from God. Not me and not you and not our church. From God. That makes me pause and rethink faith and how I go about it.

The promise is that God will always be there, in all places, at all times. The scriptures say that nothing can separate us from the love of God. So let’s go back: the essence of things hoped for and the substance of things unseen. God’s great love for us! So faith is not something I acquire, it is a gift freely given and all I have to do is unwrap it, enjoy it, and express it best I can every day.

Advent is that time of the year when it is really dark, life is going out of the world and all we get is a little Spark of light to give us hope. That is why we have lights on trees and houses, to remind us that as dark as the world might be, there is always enough light to find our way. To find our way back to our faith, to the Provider of all faith. What do I hope for? Love from the One who calls me Beloved. What is the substance of things unseen? All of those times when I didn’t think I could go on, when there was no light left, and I cried out to be held by the one who loves me most, the Eternal creator of all. Including my faith.

During these days of advent, it isn’t up to us to believe and have faith, it is up to us to let faith have us. To remember all of the promises across all scripture, God is faithful. NOT us, God! There, I said it out loud (well sorta), God is Faith. When we trust (not the same as faith) that we are Beloved, then Faith finds its way back into our consciousness. It was never gone, as the Eternal is never gone, we just didn’t have enough light to see it.

TMM

Okay, don’t panic, this is not about Revelation. Well, it is to the extent that it reveals a little something about us all perhaps. I both love and hate the end of a semester. I love it because I need a break from the students, just like they need one from me. I hate it because the begging and whining about grades and work gets old fast. College students often have this insane idea that they can wait until finals week and begin turning in work from the entire semester. Then they are indignant when they are told no.

I was raised by parents who grew up in the Great Depression (not the same one that is the result of the current election) and they decided that their kids were going to have it better than they did, so they labored long and hard to give us Baby Boomers all they could. Then we became parents, we who have had so much, and we just went ahead and did it for our kids and that is where the problem started. How could we possibly give them more, when we already had so much? But, we did and now we wonder why our kids feel entitled, lost, and unappreciative. We should have taught them thankfulness instead of greed. Hospitality instead of materialism. Community instead of individuality.

When Jesus spoke of the end times, he was clear, no one knows. He tried to tell us that we should live each day as if it were the last. No matter how hard they pressed him, he would only speak vaguely about the “signs”. He was all about the journey of our lives in God, not the destination. This is what we did not teach our kids and this is what we seem to have forgotten ourselves.

Today is the end of time. It is also the beginning. It is everything in between. We go to church, often, as a means to an end. Millenials have no respect for us because of that. We are so worried about  missing out on the great reward at the end that we follow every rule, but never live out the rule. Millenials are tired of us telling them all the rules and making demands, when what they see is us not doing the same. We should have taught them the law of Love. We should have lived out the parable of the good Samaritan. We should have taught them thankfulness, hospitality, and generosity.

My abbey, in fact all abbeys, are “schools of love”. The Rule of St. Benedict teaches us to live in harmony, love and grace with our community. To forget about getting and live out giving. It is all about the journey. The “end times” are every day. We should live as if that is true. Our children and grandchildren will change the world if  they have such an example as that.

TMM

I have a little girl. Well, okay, she is no longer little, she is 30 years old for goodness sake. That girl has made me humble so many times in my life, I have lost count. A letter to her dad when she was 13 or so and I was losing my first teaching job because of the ego of a program director. A tearful request that she be allowed to come home from college and start at the local university, to major in Social Work, just like dad. To serving me communion at her own ordination service. The most humbling from her is one she will never remember. The moments after she was born, when they handed me that beautiful baby girl and she looked directly into my eyes with those brand new eyes! I was the most insignificant person on the planet in that moment. My life quit being all that important and all that mattered was that awesome responsibility for that life.

She’s all grown up now, lives kinda far away and gets married in three weeks. Dad is going to get another dose of humility and yes, it will be tearful at best. Blubbering may even enter into the process. I have looked forward to and dreaded this day for 30 years. Her future husband is a good man who loves my baby girl. That is more than I could ever ask, I hope he knows the Sacred trust I am giving him.

But, my girl is not the only humbling thing I have going on. My wife does it to me often by expressing love daily for me and for doing a great job with that grandson. And, when I get hugs from college students who tell me I have changed their lives or that I am their favorite. Or when I get evaluations from my online university classes that are incredibly high. It brings me to a place of deep humility.

And the humility grows when friends thank me for being there, for listening, for caring. I am not that smart or wise or, on any given day, that nice. What I try to do is love. I try not to put limits on it, often trusting and believing in people far beyond what they deserve. I can’t help it, it is how I am wired. It makes me a good social worker and therapist and contemplative. It also gets my feelings hurt sometimes.

Humility is a choice though. A learned behavior. I have had to develop it from a poor self image, so that it is no longer self-effacing or trite or insincere. I have learned to give the honor to the One who gives me all the good gifts I possess. I cannot help anyone, love anyone, or even care for anyone without first having the love of the One. When my wife tells me how much I matter, I am surprised with joy. When my grown daughter looks at old dad and says, thanks and I love you, joy. When I sit with the Eternal in daily prayer and hear,” You are my Beloved in who I am well pleased “, I am awed and humbled all in one moment.

Did you know that you are Beloved of the creator of the Universe? That truth creates deep humility. Live in the Love.

TMM

 

It is that time of the year, Advent. For the Christian church it is the beginning of the new year. For the whole world it is the darkest time of the year, the shortest days of sunlight. It is also that time of the year when so much needless spending takes place, leading to regret and debt that takes the entire year to pay off. Do our children really need more? Do we?

I love the Yuletide, the Christmas time, or Hannukah or Kwanza, whatever you prefer. It is the time of amazement, hope, surprises and joy. When I was a boy, we did not have much money and I learned much later in life that if my grandfather had not sent my mother a check, we would have had nothing. That being said, there was always something under the tree. That stupid aluminum tree with the color wheel! Yeah, I was the kid with croup and allergic to what we know now are the berry producing evergreens. But I digress. It was a time of anticipation for something new in a life that had little to be thankful for, so I love Christmas and start listening to carols in early November. I wish I had been taught about Advent from an early age, I would love this time even more.

I love giving presents, surprising people with kindness. It is the only reason I wish I was really rich: so I could freely give it away. I love getting presents too,  but they don’t have to be expensive or fancy or much at all. A new package of underwear, a book, silly puzzles, a cd, most anything. You see I still have that childish joy of opening things and being surprised. And that dear friends is what Advent is about, that “opening” of one’s heart to let a tiny ray of Light in. That anticipation of the light and the surprise of it every year being renewed and growing again.

To be honest, my light gets dim this time of the year. School has just ended finals and the begging of students is wearisome. Getting all the grades in, finishing all the paper work, it is exhausting and “this little light of mine” is but a flicker. That is why I love this Advent time. The Light is coming, I will be renewed and the warm little light will blossom into a fire that will burn for another year.

So how is your little light? Is it almost out? Was it ever lit? Advent is the great expectation that the light of this old world never, ever goes out. It never goes out in us either. Scripture says Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nowhere is that more evident than this time of the year. So, look at all of the lights in yards, on houses, on the tree. Find one you can reignite your flame from and bask in that little glow. The flame of the Eternal flickers in every person on the planet. Join me in growing our own flames and seeing and honoring the flames in all others.

 

TMM